You really do love your boyfriend with all your heart. You'd do anything and everything for him. "So, why did I do this" you ask yourself? "How could I have done this to him? I can't believe I cheated on my boyfriend," you say out loud to yourself as the reality of your actions begin to fully sink in. Somehow, one question continues to move towards the front of your mind, trampling over top of every other thought like a frantic shopper desperate to beat the crowd to the savings. "Should I tell him?"
It's a tricky situation you've gotten yourself into. There's no doubt about that. On the one hand, you feel obligated to be completely honest with your boyfriend. You feel that he deserves and even has the right to know. After all, you would want to know if he had done the same to you. On the other hand, you can't help but worry that he'll be crushed by your infidelity, or worse, so upset by it that he says not a word as he simply turns and walks away, never to be heard from again.
What's The Worst That Can Happen By NOT Telling Him?
If your boyfriend has no idea that you've been unfaithful just yet, it may be quite tempting to withhold any information that might let your big secret out of the bag. And, why not? What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? However, you need to consider what keeping a secret of this magnitude can and will do to your boyfriend, to yourself, and to your relationship.
First of all, secrets don't always manage to remain confidential as they are originally intended. What happens when your boyfriend finds out much later on down the road (and he probably will)? What do you think would be worse? The hurt that he feels when you're upfront and honest with him soon after the cheating occurred? Or, do you think he'll take it better when he finds out from someone else or in some other way, compounding the hurt of finding out that you cheated on him with the addition of betrayal and secrecy?
What about if he never really does find out? You are all but guaranteed to keep your relationship intact without even the slightest hiccup. As far as he's concerned, nothing ever happened. Meanwhile, the memory that you did, in fact, cheat on your boyfriend continues to eat at your conscience. Every time your boyfriend tells you how much he loves you, trusts you, and how he feels like he never has to worry about you, you're reminded of your infidelity. You relive that unfaithful moment every single time for as long as you keep it a secret.
What's The Worst That Can Happen By Telling Him?
Maybe you've decided you don't want to live your life in guilt. Or, perhaps, you do realize that your boyfriend will most likely find out that you cheated on him sooner or later. So, what's the worst that can happen if you tell him the honest truth right now?
The most obvious consequence, of course, is that he could be upset by your cheating behavior to the point of breaking up with you over the whole ordeal. To be perfectly honest, he would have every right to do so, because you broke one of the most important aspects of any healthy relationship; trust. The thing is, you need to accept responsibility for your actions and the consequences that accompany them.
Telling your boyfriend that you cheated on him doesn't necessarily guarantee that the relationship will be over, however. If you're sincerely honest with him, and he loves you enough to work through the problem, then the relationship could still be saved. In fact, it could even be strengthened, bringing the two of you closer than you ever were before. The trust that your boyfriend has for you will be damaged, but it, like everything else, can also be healed with time.